Mallory and I just spent the past weekend in Herndon, VA for a leadership conference for our sorority, Phi Sigma Sigma. As newly elected officials the purpose of the conference was to teach us more about our positions and how to make a better chapter. During a presentation the speaker said that "every single one of you went to college to get a degree." Mallory was sitting next to me and proceeded to follow up on that statement with "not me. I went to find a husband." I started busting up laughing because her comment came out of nowhere. In reality I think Mallory was being pretty serious when she made this statement. How many young women that are going to college are actually going to college to get a degree and find a man? How many are going to college just to find a husband and never have to work a day in their life again? Is this really a good way to find a husband, by waisting so much money on four years of school in hopes of finding the right man. I don't mean to pick on Mallory, it is just
that you don't know everyone's stories even those who you consider a 'sister'. Even though she is joking when she made this comment, it does make you wonder how many girls think that they can rely on their looks to get whatever they want.

'Trophy wife' and 'gold digger' are common interchangeable terms
used when describing women who are only looking for a husband instead of pursuing a degree. Don't get me wrong some women would much rather stay at home taking care of the children and the household than having a real world job. The only time I think of trophy wife and gold digger is when you see rich men who tell their wife that they can go buy whatever they want. These women rely solely on their looks and flaunt them well, especially around their husband and family friends. I guess I am being really judgmental but there is no way I would want to rely on a man to provide for me. I want to get a degree and do what is best for me to be as successful as I possibly can be. I wouldn't mind if I happen to find a husband when I am at school, but there is no way I would drop everything I worked so hard for just to please my husband. Having kids and a family is important to me but I am going to school for a reason, to do what I love to do and make a career out of it. I can't help but express my opinions on this subject because my mom raised me to be independent and not to depend on others to make it in life.

I think it is funny how this statement made by the speaker at our conference changed the whole subject around completely. When the speaker said "every single one of you went to college to get a degree" she really meant that we all went to college to get a degree but grow as well. Going to college lead to me joining Phi Sigma Sigma and bettering my potential and leadership in the community and on campus. In reality I went to college but gained so much more; friendship, love, sisters, philanthropy, leadership, etc. I guess you could consider finding a husband in that mix as well if it does happen but, I don't see it as my main course of action.

Ending on a humorous note, Mallory gave me and four of our other girls a laugh. There is always a way to find humor in a serious situation. It helps to lighten the mood and boost morale, so thanks Mallory for the endless tweets and spontaneous comments.

Inmy encountering world eligions class, Dr. Sayers said during his lecture, "...caught not taught." He was referring to gender roles in society when he made his statement. In our society people do not hear from their mom "this is what you need to do to be a woman" or vice versa with fathers and their sons. This sparked my attention. Gender roles are just assumed and I never really thought about it until now.

Girls are supposed to like dolls, the color pink, sparkles, flowers, and princesses. Boys are supposed to like action figures, getting dirty, sports, the color blue, and hot wheels. These stereotypes arise in society about how a boy or girl is supposed to act. They don't change even when girls become women and boys become men. Women are to cook, clean, take care of others, and have the man of the house work. Men are to be supportive, work, and provide for the family.

But now these typical gender roles are getting reversed. Women are starting to work more while they also take care of the family. They are interested in getting degrees and achieving more. Men now also take care of the family and share household responsibilities equally.


There is more to gender roles than meets the eye. No one taught me how to act like a lady, dress, or put on makeup. We observe others to fit in. When someone is not like the rest of society, they stand out  (in a good or bad way). This goes back to the 'caught not taught' idea mentioned in class. Caught in the sense that no one said how to act, behave, or dress. We are not taught these
things when we are born. Gender roles blend in with everyday life and how we grow up.

Recently it has become more acceptable in society for people to
be gay, women to have political power, and men to be stay at home dads. Times are changing and the ideal role for each gender is not the same as it used to be. Just look around you, observe others and their behaviors. I am sure there are many things that will stand out to you. You will most likely start to question what is acceptable in society.

Perhaps one day you will make a bold move and change your clothing style or pursue your interests (even if it is bizarre). Be who you want to be, don't let society hold you back because it isn't the social norm. Be different, random, spontaneous, and more importantly be YOU! The world is only going to continue to change and maybe one day these so called gender roles won't even exist anymore. We can use this 'caught not taught' phrase to evaluate all things that people accept without really knowing why we do it. Take a minute and think about it, what else in society is
something we just accept?